Pseudo-Epic, Chapter 1 (6/06)

For many weeks and many months
I’d worn my boots to naught but runts.
My legs and back drew pain.
The night approached, to stress my wants,
Since long ago began my hunts
To garner fame and gain.

As drizzling rain soaked to my all,
A shred of hope fought ire and gall,
My heart grew stronger yet.
The battlements and hulking wall
Of castle grand and towers tall,
Its windows glist’ning wet.

Great oak and iron gates loomed tough.
I hobbled nigh, ‘twas close enough
To sound aloud the portal.
Ere long came keeper, gaunt and rough.
Agape went gates, with creaks a-muff,
Revealing halls immortal.

The torch he held cast pitch and light
On walls cloaked thick in looming night.
Our footsteps echoed on.
He said no word, showed not a fright,
But swept along, ignored my plight.
I followed as a pawn.

At last a glow ‘round yonder bend!
My guide stopped short, alone to send
This cold and weary soul.
I came upon doors firm to defend
What must the history books append,
Or change them in the whole.

The crowded room that towered vast,
Could swallow galleon, hull and mast,
With room again to spare.
My eyes, barraged by great a blast,
Of light from millions candles cast,
Beheld magnificent fare.

The feast for kings, for lords, for God,
On wooden tables long and broad
Revived my appetite.
But front, and high, the king sat, shod
In boots of war, with staff and rod,
Did awe and fear invite.

His cuirass strong, his greaves like stone,
His crest on shield like fire shone.
This armored lord of war.
His sword lay propped against his throne.
An army was this man alone,
A king of myth and lore.

A guard approached to learn my need,
Distinguish must from want and greed.
I made my business plain.
Ere asking lord the guard agreed
To offer food and chair and mead,
Which slowly soothed my pain.

With guests all supped and filled to brim,
The king arose, spoke o’er the din.
A silence fell like night.
“I prithee all liked meal and gin,
With no ado we shall begin
To act out tales of might.”

And now the lord’s attire made
Some sense as epic tales were played
In spaces cleared for acts.
All heroes were by him displayed,
Of fights and battles, quests and raids.
He was, at end, intact.

For hours ‘pon hours the tales were spun,
Of knights and dragons, kings and sons.
They held my focus rapt.
A comedy was shown for fun
Of heroes who could naught but run,
Pursued by wolves that yapped.

At last, with epic stories told,
A task was set for fame and gold.
My interest soon was piqued.
“My men have shared a story bold,
Of riches in a dragon’s hold,
Not open to the meek.

“The morrow holds the time to leave,
But those left here are not bereaved,
The gold will be hard-earned
Of great a trek is this the eve,
Of those who join, I do believe,
Far fewer shall return.”

The scrape of chairs and stomp of feet,
The general din did not entreat,
A mood of concentration.
I stayed steadfast and in my seat
My stomach full of bread and meat,
Mind gorged on thought of action.

‘Twas to my shock to look around,
And catch the king’s glance, which in frown
Beheld a spark of interest.
He rose, approached, and fast sat down,
To quiz me on my foreign gown,
As these first probes attest:

“Good man, whence hail thee through this storm,
To wind up here, to eat and warm?
It’s surely not nearby;
Those haunted eyes that smudge your charm
To many men would send alarm.
Your travels are awry?”

“Right you are m’lord,” said I,
And deigned to mark the how and why,
I found myself then there.
“The challenge offered caught my eye.
Perhaps I’ll ride and give a try,
To take the dragon’s ware.”

“Indeed you may, but warned you’ve been,
A harder task you’ve never seen,
‘Twill likely be your last.
But if your mind is set and keen,
You’ve my consent, though not the queen’s,
To prove you’re strong and fast.”

This interview complete and done,
He marched through doors to join with fun
Society without.
Ere time allowed for me to run
Behind my valiant lord new-won,
I heard an uproar shout.

“Hail to the Queen, her most-high might,
Hail she whose foes do quail with fright,
For she is near at hand!
Hail to the Queen, who day and night,
Protects us from all wrong or slight!
Hail Queen of all the land!”


With cat-like speed aroused by awe,
I honored she who shaped the law
By leaping to my feet.
Her skin like snow, her hair like straw;
One look, my frozen heart did thaw,
Ere I had chance to think.

I bowed my head in fierce tribute,
Then seeing neighbors follow suit,
I bent my torso low.
The Queen’s soft step, ‘gainst thumping boot
Of men in royal garb, was mute,
Poised high but without show.

“In preparation of our trek
On which we choose to prone our necks,
Her Highness stoops to speak.”
The spokesman stood aloft, erect,
To bring that regal call and beck
Which did our notice pique.

“Good men, brave knights, and loyal squires,
You’ve glimpsed in part your hearts’ desires,
And we’ll to this pursue.
You need your rest, but don’t retire
With minds-eyes burning white with fire.
This counsel I give you.

“Be wary of the greed that stalks,
The mound of jewels and snake which talks,
For they will see you dead.
The last are first when danger walks
Nearby to gobble him who balks
At leaving cache fast stead.

“Take up this quest, but mind you keep
A thought towards good, lest you should weep
from fire on Earth, then low.
For scaly beast that will not sleep
Is one with him who from the deep
All sins of ours doest know.

“The last remark that I’ve to give
Reflects my hope that all shall live
By showing well what’s right:
Be moral, kind, and substantive
To aid those men who’re cohortive;
Forsake not those in plight.”

Her speech complete, the message cast,
Her Highness rose and, first to last,
Acquainted with the crowd.
I was the end, so time had passed
And hall was nearly clear, when fast
The Queen neared, strong and proud.

I bowed again to certify
For her my humble stance and shy,
For here pure power ran.
If men corrupt when strength doth lie
Within an easy grasp, then I
Stared surely not at man.

Her two tall guards were not so full
Of grace as she, but built like bulls,
Would batter most to pulp.
She glanced around and saw the hall
Devoid of men, the candles dull.
Her look, it forced my gulp.